“What got you here won’t get you there.” – Marshall Goldsmith
The Truth About Success Nobody Tells You
There’s a trap nobody warns you about when you’re climbing the ladder of success: the habits that got you your first wins might be the very ones holding you back now. Marshall Goldsmith’s book, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, is a wake-up call for anyone who wants to grow but feels stuck, frustrated, or unsure why their success has plateaued.
Here’s the big idea: You can be highly skilled, driven, and smart, but if you don’t fix your blind spots, you’ll cap your potential—and irritate the people around you while you’re at it.
Let’s break it down.
The 20 Habits That Are Probably Screwing You Over
“We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.” – Anaïs Nin
Goldsmith doesn’t sugarcoat it: successful people often have bad habits. These aren’t the obvious ones, like laziness or incompetence. They’re sneakier, harder to spot, and easier to justify.
Here are a few of the heavy hitters from his list of 20 bad habits:
- Winning too much – Always needing to come out on top, even when it doesn’t matter.
- Adding too much value – Trying to improve every idea someone shares instead of just letting them own it.
- Passing judgment – Offering unnecessary opinions that often kill enthusiasm.
- Making excuses – Blaming external factors instead of owning your mistakes.
- Failing to express gratitude – Forgetting to say “thank you” because you assume people just know.
Sound familiar? These habits are subtle but deadly. They’re often rooted in ego and insecurity, and they push people away without you even realizing it.
Why Being Right Isn’t Always Right
“You can be right, or you can be effective.” – Marshall Goldsmith
One of Goldsmith’s most profound lessons is that being right doesn’t mean you’re being a good leader, partner, or teammate. Sometimes, your relentless need to prove your point or correct others does more harm than good.
This one hit me hard. I used to think I was helping people by pointing out better ways to do things. But Goldsmith made me realize I was just feeding my own ego. People don’t want constant corrections—they want to feel valued and trusted.
Feedback: The Gift You’re Probably Ignoring
“Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” – Ken Blanchard
Goldsmith emphasizes the importance of feedback, but not the kind you’re used to. Most people avoid feedback because it’s uncomfortable, but he flips the script: feedback is a mirror that shows you what others see, not what you think they see.
He introduces a concept called feedforward. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes, ask people for suggestions on how you can improve in the future. For example, instead of asking, “What did I do wrong in that meeting?” you ask, “What’s one thing I could do better next time?”
It’s simple, actionable, and keeps the focus on growth instead of guilt.
The Power of Apologizing
“An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.” – Lynn Johnston
Apologizing isn’t about admitting you’re wrong (although that’s part of it). It’s about owning the impact of your actions and showing others you care enough to make it right.
Goldsmith argues that many leaders resist apologizing because they see it as a sign of weakness. In reality, it’s one of the strongest things you can do. A genuine apology builds trust and opens the door for better communication and collaboration.
Changing Your Behavior Is Hard (But Worth It)
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle
Goldsmith doesn’t pretend that change is easy. Behavior is deeply ingrained, and breaking old patterns takes time, effort, and humility. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to do it alone.
He suggests creating an accountability system. Find someone you trust—a coach, mentor, or even a colleague—and ask them to hold you accountable for your growth.
For example, if you’re working on interrupting people less, ask your accountability partner to call you out every time you slip up. It’s uncomfortable, but it works.
The Takeaway: Success Is a Moving Target
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” – Albert Einstein
The main lesson of What Got You Here Won’t Get You There is that success isn’t static. What worked in the past may not work in the future, and the only way to keep growing is to let go of the habits, behaviors, and mindsets that are no longer serving you.
This book isn’t just for executives and managers—it’s for anyone who wants to level up in life. Whether you’re trying to be a better leader, partner, parent, or friend, the principles in this book will help you get there.
References
- What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith
- Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck
- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
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